A guest post from Nana

February 1, 2009


Jentri did not feel well, so Nana was sleeping with her.  Jaxson started begging to get into Jentri’s bed too, and she finally gave in and said “you can sleep at the other end.”  Somehow Jaxson kept working his way to the top of the bed, and finally positioned himself between Nana and Jentri.  Jentri made several attempts to kindly tell him to move, and he just kept moving further between Nana and Jentri.  Mind you, this is a twin bed, so it was crowded.  Finally, Nana hears Jentri laughing, and Jaxson said, “Jentri what are you doing to my face?”  She said I’m wiping boogers on it, and I am going to keep doing it until you move.  Needless to say, he was at the other end of the bed in a matter of seconds.

One day Jentri and Jaxson were playing “honey,” – Mommy and Daddy.  Jentri said to Nana, “I’m home from the hospital, Nana, will you hold the baby while I rest?  Jaxson walks in with a tackle box that is his tool box, and tells Jentri, “Honey, what are doing.?  It’s time to go to work.”  Jentri replies, “Honey, I just had a baby this morning.  Please give me a couple of days off.” 


My Beautiful Wife and Handsome Son

January 31, 2009

My Beautiful Wife and Handsome Son, originally uploaded by The fabulous J’s.

Here is one of my all time favorite pictures of my girl.

Dear Abby,

January 29, 2009

I confess I read Dear Abby everyday, but it is not so I can learn which hand it is proper to shake with in Malaysia. I read the column, because its interesting reading about how stupid people are. Most of the printed letters are from either stupid people or really creative writers and my vote falls on the former.

Next time you read the column just look at some of the stuff people ask. There is inevitably a question like this.

Dear Abby,

My boyfriend and I have been living together since my freshman year in college and I am now 45 years old. Abby, I just can’t understand why Bubba won’t marry me. All he cares about is Monster Truck rallies and beer and it makes me feel so alone. What can I do? I feel helpless.

                                                                              Alone in Arkansas

Abby usually gives some fru fru answer about self esteem and respect blah blah blah.

If I answered the questions the column would be a lot more fun

Dear Alone in Arkansas,

When people get milk for free they don’t buy a cow. Hope this helps.

Here’s is an actual example from today’s column

DEAR ABBY: Thongs up, girl! I switched to thongs when I turned 14 and have never looked back. A man can’t wear tight white jeans with anything else. Love … DINO IN SAN FRANCISCO

Dear Dino in San Francisco,

You are gay! Thanks for your vote.

The reason I keep on reading despite the frustration is articles like this one from a business owner that was printed on January 13th.


The best part is rule #3

3. MAKE IT FIT. Anything that hugs the body too tightly is not right for the office. We have a woman working here who looks like a sausage stuffed in a floral polyester casing. It’s hard to take her seriously. The same goes for a man whose pants are so tight that you can tell his religion. Ditto for pants that are so loose and low-slung you can see his underwear or her thong.

Do an experiment. Read Dear Abby for a week and see if I am lying and if you regularly write to Dear Abby don’t tell me or I will make fun of you on the world wide web.

The Janitor

January 28, 2009

I stumbled across this picture of the janitor at ORH holding Jaxson. If I remember correctly his name was Antonio, and I think he stole some stuff out of our room.

Monthly Family Update

January 28, 2009

Hello all! January has been a busy month for the Wallace clan. I have been in a tough Database Management class and thank goodness it is over. The Five Jays Blog suffered because of it. I am back on track though. My next class is Web Design I and I hope to move from WordPress to our own web page in February.

Jen is helping decorate for a wedding and I will be glad when it is over. I told her that any more decorating gigs are going to get a bill after she worked her magic, but she didn’t seem so sure. I will just send the bill and have them pay me since she probably would not take any money.

We are going to Dallas on February 5th for Lasix surgery. I am excited to be free from the bonds of corrective vision devices.

I am in the process of combing through our videos and uploading them to YouTube to be posted on the blog. A lot of changes are coming to the blog in the next week so keep checking in and thanks for reading.

Just a Swangin

January 22, 2009

Ephesians 6:4 No No

January 20, 2009
We made this video to demonstrate how not to fulfill Ephesians 6:4 (That’s a Bible verse) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger… I am off the hook a little, because he is laughing in part of the video.

Little Lawyer Quotes

January 15, 2009

Here is a little collection of little lawyer quotes

Dad? Yes son. Happy wrestling day when we get home. Jax 2007

Jax Story to sister 6-16-07 Once upon a time  there were 3 mice and they were blind. They found Jesus and now they can see again.


Jax 6-20-07 (After receiving a check in the mail) Money is the most boringist present! Robotronic Robot and puzzle bible now that’s cool.

8-23-07 I’m very smart about sin. I’m learning a lot from ya’ll.

12/14/07 Dad, look how much weight she has. I’m not saying fat! I’m saying weight so it wouldn’t be hateful

10-28-07 Mom tells Jax something serious and he answers her with a smirk.

Me: Son, do you think that everything we say is funny

Jax: No, not everything.

9-7-08 Nana and Jax are at Walmart and a girl says to Nana on the way out:

Would you like to give some money for child abuse?

Susan: sure here you go

They go to the car and Jax says: Nana I can’t believe you did that.

What honey:

You gave money to that woman so she could abuse children.

10-27-07 Jax and Momma are playing Wii

Jax: Mom your doing good


Your really good at this mom.

Thanks honey (speculative)

Mom, its nice to tell people they are good at something even when they aren’t isn’t it

11-16-07 Jaxson is playing dishwasher repair man, and talking to his moma as Jentri whines in the background about something

Jax: So, what happens? What sound does it make?

Mom explains

Jax: Oh I see. Wow you sure do have a whiny butt kid

Kid Quotes

January 15, 2009

Here is a little collection of some of my favorite Jentri quotes.

Dad, how many kicks does it take to make a coyote dead?              Jentri Nov 15

I was giving Jentri a hard time about staying at home by herself and she said. “If I stay here by myself might some coyotes will come.”     11-19-08

Mama, mama I’m helping you because your not our swave.

Your slave?

Yeah, I wish we had a swave.

What does a slave do Jentri?

You know mom a swave would teach us Spanish

You know poka docka locka


age 2  Help us have no tornados. Put angels around our house to fight bugs out. Amen. 5-4-07

And finally my favorite.

If a boy wants to marry me he needs to ask my daddy, if my daddy says no then the boy can’t marry me! Jentri Jan 10th 2008

Flower Girls Gone Wild

January 12, 2009

I have been waiting a long time to post these videos. Jentri and Gwyn were the flower girls at Keri’s wedding (I know the groom is wearing tennis shoes, but it really is a wedding.) it was good the wedding was recorded, because I don’t think anyone was watching the ceremony.

Part 1 is only eight seconds but it sets the tone.

Part 2 The first 25 seconds are great the rest is Blah, blah, blah marriage this marriage that. (yes the bald creepy looking guy is the preacher (sorry Brody))

Part 3 This is right after the basket is wedged on the top of her leg and she couldn’t get it off.

Part 4 Soccer anyone?

Hope you enjoyed there will be more tomorrow.